Let The Darkness Find Me
by Hidden-Mysteries
Summary: Kat Monroe is trying to stay strong after her mother's death, her brother Mike is all she has and along with the rest of their friends maybe a trip to the Washington's Mountain lodge will help. Then the tragedy occurs and it will impact them like never before. A year later, Josh suggests a reunion which they agree to, unaware of the dangers soon to come. (OC).
1. OC Character Profile

I've finished this game and it was bloody awesome, so awesome that I'm now constantly daydreaming, replaying and reading/writing fanfiction about it. My first play through Ashley, Josh and Sam died (kicking myself as Ash and Josh were my favourites).

I've also created an OC and here's some information of her based on the games character profiles and also her relationships with the other characters. This fanfic will be from her point of view and each chapter I will show if her personality/relationship status changes.

 **OC Character Info**

 **Gender:** Female

 **Name:** Katherine Monroe (Kathy, Kat, Kit Kat)

 **Hair & Eyes: **Black and dark murky blue.

 **Age:** 17 (12th June 1997) _(16 in beginning before second trip after Hannah and Beth die)._

 **Personality (** In order highest to lowest amount **):** Honest, brave, funny, charitable, curious, romantic.

 **Occupation:** Home schooled (decided once the others left to college).

 **Family:** Michael (Mike) Monroe ( _brother),_ Eric Monroe (Father), Lily Monroe (mother, deceased).

 **Cause of Death** (determinant) **:** Impaled by wendigo, explosion, choked to death, shot, ripped apart in wendigo feeding frenzy.

 **Status:** Determinant.


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

Personality Status (highest to lowest): Honest, Brave, Funny, Charitable, Curious, Romantic.

Relationship Status (highest to lowest): Hannah, Mike, Josh, Chris, Beth, Matt, Sam, Jessica, Ashley Emily.

I look into the mirror hanging lousily from hammered nail on my bedroom wall. I can't help but stare back at the tired expression, not to mention the dark circles under my eyes and I shake my head. I give up. I've barely been able to sleep, the bad dreams are rearing their damn frightening head again and despite having my medication, the pills haven't been helping. Ever since my mum…since she…well I haven't recovered. But I'm okay, that's all I have to say right and if I say it enough I might end up believing it. To be honest, no one is here to notice, my dad is constantly travelling trying to stay away from anything and anyone that reminds him of our mum and Mike, well he's Mike. Mike stayed strong, I guess he's the only one that could after dad broke down and I got depressed. So it's just been me and Mike, I get a few emails from my dad a month he said he'll be back in the next five weeks he's just been busy with his business. I hope dad will be back, then maybe we might be able to have a sense of normality again. It's been eleven months, almost a year, sometimes it feels like grief will never pass and I guess in most cases it never will.

I sweep my gaze over to my pills on my dresser, staring them down like they're doing to me. Why should I bother? Something I always ask myself, then I realise it's not fair on Mike to hold the strength for all of us. "I'll be okay." I whisper and then shake my head as I go and grab the bottle, chucking it into my bag and leaving my room. I head downstairs, slipping on my lace up beige coloured boots and walk to the front door. "I'm going to Hannah's," I call out to Mike and then I suddenly hear a high sound coming from the kitchen. "Wow, let me rack my brains about who that annoying laugh is coming from." I mumble to myself as I walk slowly into the kitchen. "Emily, I never knew you were here I'm surprised I didn't hear you before." Sarcasm, something I have realised can somewhat improve a bad mood, unless said person doesn't understand a word of it.

Mike's at the stove making what looks like to be an omelette and he glances up at me showing me a smile, whereas Emily folds her arms and attempts to refrain from scowling at me but doesn't succeed, both actions being a habit whenever I show up. "Hey Kit Kat." Mike greets me and I return his smile, something I can't help whenever he uses the nickname mum used to say to me.

"Hear us? Oh, if you meant when Mike and I were…" Emily starts, a smirk showing off her overly white teeth.

"Please, I don't want to know." I let out a sigh, why do people always think they'll embarrass me by resorting to sexual topics, I mean I do get embarrassed but damn Mike's my brother and I do not want to hear anything about what he gets up to with her. Then again, Mike's told me they haven't done anything yet and I must say it's tempting to call Emily out but right now I'm too darn tired to put up with her shit.

"She's just teasing Kat." Mike says to me sympathetically. He knows my dislike for his girlfriend, if she was under any word in the dictionary it'd be under the word bitch, the only thing I envy about her is her aptitude for being an intellectual sponge, she's smart and she knows it, she also likes to remind everyone about it.

"Digging the eye circles Kitty Kat, is it a new look you're going for?" Emily taunts me with her false smile and her alteration of the nickname Mike calls me.

"I couldn't sleep." I shoot what I guess from Emily's backed off reaction and Mike's worried glance, a death stare, and I sweep my eyes lightly to Mike hinting that I don't want to get into it.

"Lay off a bit okay Em." Mike says to his girlfriend and Emily immediately notices that it was a demand and not a question.

"Honestly Mike, like you said I'm just teasing don't get all agro about it." Emily snaps back and I catch Mike's glance again. I raise my eyebrows giving him a sympathetic look, he shakes his head and tries hard not to laugh.

"Whatever, I'm going to Hannah's." I finally say, ignoring the irritation creeping up at me from looking back at Emily rolling her eyes at me and I start walking out of the kitchen.

"Be back for dinner okay, I'm making fajitas!" Mike calls and I throw up an all good sign with my thumb in the air.

"I like the way you think brother." I hear him laugh and as I reach the front door to the house I open it and step out into the fresh air. Mike always ends up putting a smile on my face, this is why I sometimes think I don't need my meds, I can be fine…I can, I just need to get back to being me again and Mike making me smile always helps, but right now I need to see Hannah.

I arrive at Hannah's, this place is like a second home for me. I'm not really good at making friends, I never was I guess, so Mike let me hang out with him and his friends. He met them through Emily, who met them through Jessica and he got along with them all but doesn't really have a strong relationship with any of them like I have with Hannah, but his personality and cocky humour is contagious, well at least it is for me then again I've grown up with Mike and the others well, they don't see him how I do. They just need to get to know him a bit more, though I know Hannah likes him and she knows I –

The door swings open after I knock on it, I have a key but I tend to lose things easily so I just figured it'd be better, if not more decent to knock. Josh, Hannah and Beth's older brother is standing there and a smile slowly shows on his face. He rubs his eyes, he doesn't look as tired as me but he looks as if he's just woken up from a nap, his brown hair slightly ruffled. "Kat, is waking up sleeping beauties from their slumber a new found hobby for you?" Josh says to me, joking and I wrinkle my nose.

"Well whenever I wake up and see a sleeping beauty I'll let you know." I show him a smile and then after feeling his gaze on me though I'm probably imagining it, I self-consciously put my hands in the pockets of my jacket. "Is Hannah here? I need to talk to her." I ask as Josh moves to the side to let me in, which I oblige and I head to my preferred seat on their living room sofa.

Josh rests on the armchair of the sofa across from me and I let my bag rest on the pillow of the sofa, noticing my pills in the zip of my bag. As Josh speaks my attention returns to him, "Dentist check-up." He tells me and I narrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"What?"

"Hannah and Beth, they're at the dentists. I thought she told you." Josh says to me, showing half a smile obviously amused at my oblivious distraction.

"Damn she did, I spaced. Had some things on my mind, I just forgot." I explain, placing a hand to my head and closing my eyes, I feel like sleeping for eternity, that'd be nice.

"You can tell me." Josh says and as soon as I open my eyes to meet his I realise that he's serious and he moves over, taking a seat beside me. His eyes drift to my open bag and notices my pills and I let out a sigh as I close the zip. "Tell me Kat." He repeats, his eyes now narrowed in concern.

"I just…I've been laying off my medication. I'm just testing, I know I don't need them, I've just become so dependent on them and once I've gotten used to not taking them then I'll be okay again." I let out what has been going on and then Josh looks down towards his hands which are clasped in his lap.

"I…get what you're going through, I mean you know I take medication too and I once tried going off it. It doesn't work Kathy, I went bad I started seeing things again that weren't there and I felt terrible for what I put my family through. They get so worried when I get bad." Josh tells me, avoiding my gaze and I place my hand lightly over his.

"At least you have people that notice. Sometimes I feel like no one understands, I want people to trust that I can handle it. I want Mike not to worry about me." I let out a sigh and I feel a returned squeeze from Josh's hand.

"You know what we need?" Josh tells me and I give him a quizzical look. "A vacation! My family has that lodge up on the mountain in Blackwood Pines, we should all go there I think it'd be good for us, for you I mean." His excitement is contagious and I show him a smile in gratitude.

"Thanks Josh, you're right it'd be fun to get away from everything." I reply and on that note the front door swings open. Hannah and Beth walk in, out of instinct I quickly remove my hand from Josh's and get Hannah's surprised look as she noticed last minute, but thankfully doesn't question it.

"Hey Kit, I hope our gentleman of a brother has been treating you well." Beth says in greeting with a joking smile as she heads to the kitchen to get some juice.

Hannah comes up behind me, giving me a hug and whispering discreetly in my ear, "it looks like he has." Hannah giggles and I narrow my eyes playfully at her. She knows I…somewhat have a crush on Josh, definitely do just the same as I know that she likes my brother.

"Kat and I were thinking of arranging a getaway to the mountain lodge." I quickly look over to Josh, since when does he involve me in joint decisions which were elaborated by him, not since now. Hannah catches this as well and she tucks a stray strand of her brown hair behind her ear, gazing nonchalantly.

"With everyone?" Hannah asks, hopeful and as Josh nods in response her face gleams. "That sounds great, it'd be so much fun wouldn't it Beth?"

"Yeah I'm in, it'd be a laugh. Just good luck in persuading mum and dad letting us go out there by ourselves." Beth says, taking a seat on the opposite sofa. "We all know what us 'sex crazed hormonal teenagers get up to'.' Beth and Josh laughs as she imitates their parents choice of words and I fold my arms.

"I'm sure they'd let us, I mean most of you guys are practically adults it'll be fine." I tell them and Josh playfully and lightly punches me on the chin.

"Adults eh? Bags not babysitting the kids then." Josh jokes and Hannah rolls her eyes with a smile on her face.

"Hey, I'm not a kid." I say, punching his arm slightly harder but Josh deflects it. I then salvage my mobile from my bag and open my contacts. "I'll message Mike to tell the others." Then I look up at Hannah. "Unless you want to have the honour of messaging him?"

Hannah blushes slightly, "I'm pretty sure Mike reads your texts as soon as he gets them, I'll survive." Hannah says, grabbing my arm and my bag. "You do that then we can watch titanic, maybe even twice."

As we're out of ear shot from Josh and Beth, I reply "how about I send the message and then we watch movies at mine, Mike's making fajitas." I tempt Hannah, nudging her with a giggle and I take her blush as a yes. "I'll tell him to set an extra plate out." I type in the text and then hit send.

 _Hey Mike,_

 _So hope you don't have any plans this break, because we are heading to the snowy Blackwood Mountain that is the Washington Lodge. Text the others, it's going to be epic! Also make enough fajitas for three, Hannah's staying over._

 _Love Kat._


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

Personality Status (highest to lowest): Funny, Charitable, Brave, Honest, Romantic, Curious.

Relationship Status (highest to lowest): Hannah, Mike, Josh, Beth, Chris, Matt, Sam, Jessica, Ashley Emily.

"You all set?" Mike asks me, standing at my bedroom door and I glance back at him with an unsure smile then my gaze returns to my small bag filled with the warmest clothes I could find and whatever else I may need.

"I may not pack like a horse like your girlfriend but then again I'm not as materialistic as her." I say to him with a chuckle under my breath and he notices my medication resting on my quilt.

"Don't forget those, have you took them this morning?" Mike reminds me, walking over and handing my medication to me.

"Of course, you remind me every morning." I lie which is something I barely do I just don't want Mike to be worried about what I'm doing. I haven't took today's dosage I'll only take them when I feel that I need them. I'll be fine and anyway I'm too excited about this trip to think about anything else. "So everyone's definitely going?" I ask.

"Yeah the whole crazy gang." Mike replies, placing his hands into his tattered army jacket, one of his favourite possessions apparently. Mike gives me an unsure and hesitant look which he does whenever he's worried about me, thankfully the crack of his smile wipes away my nervousness that Mike thinks something is up. "We'll have fun Kat, if anyone gives you a hard time though tell me and I'll have a word with them."

"No, no fighting, no arguing and no drama. Let's just have a calm and fun holiday with our friends…a bit of normalcy would be nice." I say and then noticing Mike's mind wandering elsewhere which what happens when he starts to think about mum, I nudge his arm. "And thanks, but I think I can handle Emily's snarky comments and Jessica's sexual innuendos."

"Well, with no parents around I have a feeling a lot of that will be occurring, everyone in such a confined space, snuggling together to keep warm." Mike starts to tease me, already seeing my grossed out discomfort.

"Mike, stop, I doubt that the walls are soundproof and I don't want to get any other picture of what they're getting up to." I have my hands over my ears, and Mike throws his head back laughing loudly as he grabs my bags.

We head outside and I see a taxi waiting for us and Emily is standing outside of it. "So ladies, let's get this adventure started." Mike announces, trying to diffuse the tension already rising between Emily and I. "Come on Kit Kat, be Bilbo you know you want to."

"I'm going on an adventure!" I say, though not in my usual enthusiasm as I see Emily crease her eyes at me.

"You guys are so weird, how am I going to put up with this I do not know." Emily lets out exasperatingly, getting into the taxi as Mike holds the door open for her.

Mike keeps the door open for me. "I am seriously wondering the same thing." I murmur just loud enough for Mike to hear and I hear his chuckle in response.

After a long taxi ride filled with ice cold stares and Emily and I cursing under our breath at each other we finally arrive near the snowy mountains. We get out the car and I walk as far away from the Queen bitch as I can get, I hear Mike's grunt as he lifts Emily's bags from the car, passing me mine first. Now outside of the lower side of the mountains where the cable car resides, I open my arms wide embracing the cool bite of the cold air. "The weather is amazing, and the view I've never seen anything like it."

"I'm sure you can have all the time you want to roam the forest and happily follow wild animals like the weirdo you are, but all I want to admire right now is a hot fire." Emily says to me and I can tell she's aggravated by the loss of bark within her bite.

"Maybe I'll surprise everyone and bring back an army of Emily eating wild beasts." I reply with a smirk, not even caring that Emily was trying to insult me, to be honest I've gotten used to it by now.

"Lions, tigers and bears oh my!" Mike says dramatically, mocking a girl's high pitched voice.

"Yeah well joke all you want, but we're going up into the mountains, anything could be up there." Emily says, her tone turning serious and now it's my turn to roll my eyes. I then see a shadow, something or someone moving towards Emily and guessing the satisfying outcome, a grin shows on my face. "Seriously Katherine you…agh!" Emily lets out a scream and turns around, batting away Josh's hands and hitting his arm. "Josh you asshole, don't do that!"

Josh starts laughing and Mike and I can't help but join in. "I saw the perfect opportunity and had to take it." Josh shrugs with a smirk and I high five him.

"Well it was worth it." I laugh and then Josh places his hands in the pockets of his dark blue jacket.

"Are we going to head on up?"

Emily, still pissed off by Josh scaring the pants off her narrows her eyes. "I said I'd meet Jess and Matt here, though you can head on, please do." Emily waves Josh off and Mike looks at me to see what I want to do.

"Well I think I want to get up to the lodge, you can keep Emily company Mike. Josh and I will head up."

"Okay sis, Josh make sure Kit Kat doesn't get eaten by any bears or whatever, knowing her adorable love for animals she'd most likely try and hug one." Mike teases and pats Josh on the shoulder before he goes off to sit with Emily.

I turn around to Josh who is still smiling at me. "I wouldn't hug a bear, I mean maybe a baby cub but not a bear." I justify myself and he just laughs.

"Knowing you, I'm pretty sure you'd still try to hug the bear." He replies and we head through the working gate and towards the door to the cable car station.

"Ah, you know me too well. Didn't Hannah and Beth come up with you?" I ask, thinking they'd be with Josh.

"Nah, they got here the night before to plan and make sure the lodge has everything working." Josh explains casually. I raise my eyebrows in suspicion to him.

I raise my eyebrows in suspicion to him. "And you didn't go up with them? Why not?" I ask, glancing over at him, to see his dark grey, brown tinted eyes slowly meet mine, his lips turning into a half smile.

"Maybe I hoped I'd get to hang out with you first before we're surrounded by the rest of the group." Josh says, opening the door to the cable car as we reach it and letting me in first.

"I was hoping the same thing, that we could…talk…I don't know anything really, it's pretty hard to do when you're in a house with a large group." I admit and Josh slides into the seat beside me. The cable car jolts and then starts to move. "I'm excited, are you excited?" I ask trying to divert the topic.

"Yeah, I'm glad you came Kathy…I wanted you to."

"I don't think I would've really come if you didn't suggest it, I'm not exactly as close with the rest of the group. I mean Hannah, Beth and Chris they're really the only ones I probably get along with, I guess I'll just need to make an effort into getting to know the others and tolerating Emily. I just…I think you and Hannah are the only ones who really understand me, about everything."

Josh places his hand over mine. "Kat, people who have been through similar things, through similar pain they end up understanding each other more than family or friends ever could, if anything they have each other." His voice becomes softer and the seriousness is just underlining his words.

I let out a small breath. "You're right, I'm glad at least someone can relate to me, I don't feel as alone when someone does. Is that selfish of me, to want someone to get what I'm going through so I'm not the only one?" I ask, my voice nearly becoming a whisper.

"No, I wanted the same all this time." Josh replies and only then do I realise how close his lips are to mine, I can hear the small breaths coming from him, he smells like the fresh cold air, mint and Josh, just like how he always is. It's so damn enticing. Josh leans in and before I know it, his hand has slowly moved to my hair, his lips pressed against mine softly, it's calming and wonderful both at the same time. My hands move to his cheek, cupping his face delicately as the kiss deepens. How long have I wanted this to happen? How long did Josh want this to happen?

Our lips then part and we're left gazing into each other's eyes, unsure of what to say or what to do next. "I also wanted to do that for a while now." Josh tells me, his voice low and his eyes directing back to my lips. Before I could break temptation and lean in for another kiss, the cable car stops at the top of the mountain, the door opening and revealing the crisp cool air.

"I guess we better get going, back to reality huh." I say to Josh, not wanting to move at all, but he slips his hand into mine and pulls me up from the seat as we head out of the cable car and start to walk towards the lodge.

"Damn reality to hell." Josh smiles and I smile back at him, the rest of the walk feeling settling. There's a comfortable silence between us, as we make distinctive comments on the scenery and wondering who will be at the lodge, what we'll all do and how great a holiday this will be. Since kissing Josh in the cable car, where it felt like for a small moment we were the only ones on the mountain, I can't imagine anything sinister could happen to ruin this holiday for us. If I'm this happy throughout our holiday on the mountain, then I doubt anything will be able to change that.


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

Personality Status (highest to lowest): Honest, Romantic, Brave, funny, Curious.

Relationship Status (highest to lowest): Hannah, Josh, Mike, Beth, Chris, Matt, Sam, Jessica, Ashley Emily.

As soon as we reached the Washington's lodge, a tranquil and dark mansion the roof covered in white snow and the glint of lights coming from the inside, Josh removes his hand from mine to take the lodge keys out of his pocket. Before he has a chance to open the door we hear Chris' voice come from behind us. "What's up love birds?" Chris greets us with a mischievous grin. Josh and I look at each other in realisation that Chris saw us.

"If anything I'm pretty sure we'd be eagles, or dragons, sounds much more bad ass." I reply, trying to avoid an embarrassing confrontation, but he's seen us luckily it was just Chris Josh's best friend, he trusts us about his 'hidden' –cough- feelings for Ashley and we can trust him about this.

"Well the saying goes as the saying goes. So do you two have something going on now?" Chris pries, rubbing his hands together still smiling.

"Do you and Ashley have something going on yet?" I deflect back and that turns his smile into uncertainty, Josh folds his arms with a grin now escalating on his own…very handsome facial features.

"In time maybe…don't change the subject." Chris hesitantly says back, his voice going quiet like whenever he is confronted with the topic of his crush Ashley.

"Look Chris we don't want-," Josh starts to say but Chris holds his hands in the air with an understanding look.

"I know, don't worry you're naughty secret is safe with me." Chris replies and Josh turns around to open the door. The door swings open and we're embraced by slightly warmer surroundings but there's still that bite of cold air in the lodge. We head through the rooms, walking towards the living room area where's there's a fire flickering, warmth in the air and there's Hannah, Beth, Sam and Ashley curled up on the couch under blankets and holding what looks like hot chocolate.

"Hot chocolate and marshmallows, I like the way you guys think." Josh says in greeting grabbing the bag of marshmallows and taking a seat on the other sofa, holding out the bag for me. I take a handful of marshmallows with a smile, before I'm tugged onto the sofa by Hannah and onto her knee.

"Didn't you come up with Mike Kit?" Hannah asks me, restraining me lightly with her arms. I laugh popping a marshmallow into my mouth, I look over to Josh who's staring at me as if he was hoping me to snuggle up next to him.

"He stayed back with the ice queen, they're waiting for Jess and Matt." I reply and I see Hannah wrinkle her nose when I mentioned Emily. We then hear the door of the lodge swing open and the loudest voice which could only be Jessica's boom through the rooms.

"Look who's in the house bitches!" Jessica shouts, her, Mike, Matt and Emily walking into the living room and placing their bags by the door.

"Here we go." Sam says, in sarcastic enthusiasm as she sees Jess enter the room.

Hannah smiles slightly as Mike walks through and up to me. "Look at that Kit Kat's here, she must've survived the bear hugging." Mike jokes and I poke my tongue out at him. I squiggle out of Hannah's grip and pat her on the arm hinting her to move up the couch.

"You can take this seat, I'd rather be next to Josh he's holding the marshmallows captive." I excuse myself for the real reason, which is that I really want to spend as much time with Josh without causing any suspicion. Everyone will be watching each other like hawks to see if any…relationships form. Is this what I'm thinking? That I want there to be a relationship between Josh and I, I mean that'd be great but I haven't even divulged to Hannah about mine and Josh's kiss yet. I'm actually wondering whether I should…maybe after the holiday, but right now I find it exciting that Josh and I share a secret together, it is no one's business after all.

Josh smiles as I take a seat next to him and I take a swift over at Hannah who says hi to Mike with a blush as he sits down next to her. Emily goes off to make some hot chocolate for the rest of the group, Jess and Mike sit down and Chris takes the armchair near Ashley. I hear Ashley and Chris exchange small talk, their smiles evident that they like each other, I must admit they'd be great together, Sam, Josh and I have been hoping they'd get together for some time now. Everyone's relaxed and when Emily brings in the hot chocolate, even handing one to me and surprisingly it wasn't poisoned, we all just chilled out for a while going over what we can do while we're here. This is the most at ease I've felt in ages especially with Josh sitting next to me, his arm touching mine lightly which is comforting.

"I haven't stopped thinking about kissing you." Josh whispers under his breath, his voice just loud enough for me to hear.

I blush slightly and I can't help put break into a smile. "Me too." I whisper back. Josh moves his hand discreetly and lightly brushes it over the back of mine.

We didn't even notice Jessica suddenly standing in front of us with her hands placed on her hips, her voice startling us out of our moment. "Are you two planning to hog the marshmallows all night or are you going to share? After all sharing is caring." I abruptly withdraw my hand from Josh's, he does the same but more hesitantly and we end up spilling the marshmallows all over the couch, luckily I don't think Jess noticed us if she did hell would happen. "Wow, great job guys." Jess takes the bag filled with the remaining marshmallows. "I'll take these then." Jess goes back next to Emily and I see Emily gazing over at me with suspicion.

"So what should we do now?" Ashley asks, her cheeks tinged pink from either the warmth of the fire or the fact that Chris has been talking to her.

"Well I don't know about you guys but I'm beat." Sam says, getting up from the chair and stretching her arms in a yawn.

"Yeah me too. I was thinking we could go out for a small hike tomorrow see some of the views." Beth suggests and we all smile in agreement.

"Nothing like looking at some good views." Mike says with a mischievous grin and Emily rolls her eyes with a sigh.

"So er what's the sleeping arrangements?" Chris asks as he stands up trying hard not to glance over at Ashley.

"There's enough rooms to go around, some might have to bunk up though." Josh tells everyone and I catch him look over to me. Oh what a damn nice arrangement that would be.

"Kat can share with me." Hannah says and I nod in prolonged agreement, I'm guessing Hannah and I will have a lot to talk about tonight. The main topic probably being Mike and maybe Josh…

"Sure, but before I sleep I'll spend some time relaxing these muscles in a hot bath, it's well needed if we're trekking tomorrow." I say as everyone starts grabbing their bags and heading off to their rooms. Hannah takes mine up seeing as she got here the day before and Josh hangs around waiting until everyone has gone upstairs.

I slowly walk up to Josh, a small smile forming on my face and he moves a stray strand of my hair behind my ear with his hand, his fingers lightly brushing against my cheek. "I guess I'll see you in the morning then." Josh says to me and I let out a sigh, moving my hands to his hair and looking into his eyes. The morning seems so far away from now.

"Yeah I guess so." I reply, my smile faltering a bit but Josh then changes that as he leans forward hesitating for only a moment and then he presses his lips against mine. There's a softness in them that I can't describe and it unknowingly always seems to have a calming effect on me. I curl my fingers through his hair, wanting more, needing so much more. Josh lowers his arms down to my hips and I press against him, our lips moving perfectly against each other, as if they're dancing. I then move my hand downwards, running it up the inside of his shirt, feeling the warmth and movement from his chest.

A creek from upstairs then makes us withdraw from each other, our chest's rising and falling feeling out of breath but also exhilarated at the same time. It's Hannah, standing at the top of the stairs with either a bewildered or surprised look on her face. "You, upstairs, talk now." Hannah says and just when Josh and I think she's pissed off that we've hidden this from her, Hannah shakes her head with a small smile before she walks back to her room. Great, she's not angry.

I look back to Josh, my cheeks tinged pink and I'm really trying to refrain looking at his lips…those amazingly soft lips. "I guess I'll have to skip the bath." I whisper and Josh grins back.

Josh kisses my cheek, his lips lingering on my skin for a few seconds more and I close my eyes. "Night Kathy." He whispers in my ear and as I open my eyes, I see him heading off to his room. I clasp my hands together, trying to process everything that has just happen, but instead I end up grinning wildly and not being able to stop myself grinning even when I reach Hannah's room.

I head in and she's lying on her bed reading a magazine, she looks up at me her eyebrows raised and she immediately throws her magazine to the side. I lie myself down next to her and she waits for me to say something, but I actually don't know what to say for once. "Details Kit, now!" Hannah says, her voice a little too loud and excited for my liking and I hide my face in my hands so she doesn't see my stupid grin.

I then look up to her. "You're not angry with me?" I ask and she shakes her head.

"No, of course not. Kit I am so damn happy for you." Hannah tells me genuinely and I let out a breath of relief. "You've liked my brother for as long as I can remember and if there was anyone in the world he could be with I'd want it to be you. I know you Kit, Josh is amazing and as my best friend you're exactly who I'd want him to be with."

Her words of reassurance touch me. "Thanks Han, but right now we're trying to keep it on the down low especially with the loud mouths we've got here." Hannah pulls her fingers across her mouth, pretending to zip it and she throws away the key, I knew I could always trust Hannah with anything even if it is about her brother. "It's the same with you and Mike, you two would be so good for each other. He lets that bitch Emily walk all over him, which is not like him at all and she's so damn demanding. If I wanted anyone to be with my brother, it'd have to be you. You're so kind and caring, you'd never hurt anyone, Mike needs someone like that and not someone who scraps into him every time they can get."

Hannah smiles, blushing but then she brings me into a hug. "Thanks Kit, those words mean everything to me. Let's hope it all works out in the end right." We pull out of the hug and I nod.

"I hope so, everything will work out Han, it will. Hopefully before this getaway has ended Mike will realise that it's just definitely not meant to be with Emily and he'll see sense and go out with my best friend." I reply, laying down and resting my head on the pillow, Hannah does the same on the other side of the bed.

"Gosh Kit, just imagine. Mike and I, you and Josh, going on double dates, going to events together it'd be amazing." Hannah whispers, both of us getting tired and I can slowly feel my eyes falling.

"It will be Hannah, I promise you I'll make sure it works out. I promise." I whisper in reply, everything suddenly drifting off as we both fall into a dreamless sleep.


	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

Personality Status (highest to lowest): Romantic, Honest, Funny, Curious, Brave.

Relationship Status (highest to lowest): Hannah, Josh, Mike, Chris, Beth, Sam, Jessica, Matt, Ashley Emily.

Excited screams erupt from the group, each one of us running in different directions and taking cover behind trees or bushes. Snowballs are aimed and shots are fired. The snowball match was an in the moment decision after Jessica threw a snowball at the back of Emily's head. The startled scream from Emily of course had gained my approval. Then we all joined in after Hannah fired a shot towards Mike, which he laughed off, retaliating with his own and the snowball war began. We woke up at six in the morning to get out early enough to see the sun rise and start out hike, so having this fun break two hours later was of course well needed.

I run and slide along the snowy ground to take cover behind a tree. We got in teams; Beth, Mike, Emily, Matt and Sam, and in my team me, Hannah, Josh, Chris, Jess and Ashley. I get in view of Mike and scrap together a hefty snowball, throwing it my aim obliterating Mike. "Score!" I shout to Mike, laughing and as Mike turns his head he spots me and starts heading towards me getting ready to get revenge. Before I can make a run for it and Mike can get his payback, another snowball slams Mike right in the cheek and as I look over I see Josh standing with a satisfied grin on his face.

"No one gets my girl." Josh says, without realising he said it and even though I'm bloody melting from the fact that he called me his girl, Mike heard him and I'm unsure whether anyone else did. Mike looks over at me with a raised eyebrow and a small smile shows on his face.

I shake my head at Mike and he nods with a wink at me. "My mouth is sealed." Mike tells me and I grin back at him. Mike gets hit by another snowball this time by Jessica.

"Boom!" She shouts and Mike runs off to return a snowball hit to her.

Josh jogs over to me, looking over his shoulder and noticing that the rest of the group are too busy with their heads in the game. Josh grabs my hand and as I stand up he takes me away from the group, towards a clearing filled with more trees, a small stream and a bridge. "I've been wanting to have you alone with me since we set off." Josh says to me, his smile the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, I can't help but get lost in my own world with just him around me.

"Well I must say I definitely admired the view on the hike." I reply and while wrapping my arms around him in a hug, Josh starts kissing my neck my back resting against a tree. His lips trail from my collarbone going up towards my jaw, nibbling lightly against my skin.

His mouth stops by my ear for a moment and he whispers, "Hmm, good you weren't up in the front or else I wouldn't've been able to keep this a secret." I can't handle being this close to him, I'm already nearly giving into temptation, seriously damn thrilling and passionate temptation.

Josh's lips nibble my ear, the sensation making me release a small moan. "Maybe we don't have to…I really like it when you called me your girl." I tell Josh, my voice soft and breathless.

Then he stops his actions, gazing longingly into my eyes. Those damn eyes and his perfectly shaped mouth, my body is aching for them. I then blush, noticing what I just said but not caring as I move my arms around Josh's neck and start to plant small, soft and numerous kisses on his cheeks, returning the gesture moving my mouth along his jawline, then reaching his lips. I take his bottom lip between mine and pull on it lightly. His kisses become more urgent his hand tugging my hair gently, his touch and his lips resonating like electricity along my skin. "Okay, we'll tell them tomorrow." He says as his lips come away from mine. "As long as Mike doesn't spill about us."

"He won't." I reply and next thing I know, Josh lifts both of my legs up and lowers me to the ground with haste and I giggle. The cold bite from the snow embraces me, yet my skin is on fire as Josh's body presses against mine. How long has past? It feels like time is frozen, yet I have a feeling the others will be looking for us soon. Snowball fights can't go on forever. But I don't want to stop. _You don't have to stop._

Josh unzips my jacket and moves his hands, trailing them down my body and grazing his fingers over the lower part of my stomach, just above my jeans as he unbuttons them. His lips don't leave mine until he suddenly trails his kisses down my body. Josh's intense eyes look up at me then back to my body, I need something to grip on, the feeling is amazing. My hands grasp the snow, the coldness being numbing against the heat of the situation. "Josh…" I breathe out his name and then we hear a voice come from a few feet away.

"Holy shit." Chris exclaims and Josh lets out an aggravated sigh, looking up yet not moving away from me.

"Shit Chris you always have great timing, what were you enjoying the show?" Josh asks, taking this rather calmly, yet I'm the one blushing madly. I cover my face with my hands, did Chris seriously just see all of that?

"Well this is embarrassing." I moan and not the good type of moan I'd rather be experiencing either. Josh just chuckles under his breath and then looks in my eyes.

"Guess we'll have to finish this later." Josh mumbles and I can't help but smile up at him. Josh pushes himself up and holds out his hand to pull me up with him. I linger as I hold his hand a little longer then intended and I hear a cough come from Chris. Now it was my turn to sigh.

"Sorry for erm interrupting, but the group was wondering where you guys were." Chris tells us, folding his arms as if trying to shelter himself from the situation he walked in on.

After walking back to the group, who were sitting on logs and breaking out some breakfast wraps, we try to look as normal and calm as possible. "Sorry, needed to pee." I say the first thing that comes to my mind and then braced myself for the laughs.

"Aw, did you have to take Joshy with you? I bet he said he'd protect you from the big scary animals." Emily taunts me, earning a few other laughs from Jess and Matt.

"You might need a guy to protect you Emily, but Kathy can hold her own. Anyway I just went for a walk, needed some air away from being attacked by snowballs." Josh retorts, trying to play it off casually but I can tell he gets peeved whenever Emily tries to be a bitch to me.

"Well we have got some wraps, which may are say are delicious." Sam tells us, handing some over to Josh, Chris and I.

"Courtesy to Ashley's wrapping skills." Beth says and Ashley smiles, Chris seems to be enjoying his wrap much more now.

The only seats left are next to Hannah so Josh and I sit down on the log. "You must be starving, Josh too I bet you've both worked up an appetite." Hannah teases, small enough for what I thought only I could hear. I slap her arm lightly with a smile and then as I look over at Josh, who's eating his wrap quietly I notice his knowing smile on his face. Everything's calm, I never knew hiking with friends could make me feel so free. The cold yet soothing wind blowing on my cheeks, what happened with Josh, Hannah being the teasing but loving best friend and for the first time in ages this has been a day where I really felt that I don't need my meds. I'll be able to keep that up as long as I have more days like this, ever since last year life is suddenly getting better now and back to how it should be.

/

After that extremely long and refreshing hike, as soon as we got back we relaxed for a while that was until night time hit. Mike cracked out his beers, Chris and Josh ransacked the bottles of the strong stuff; vodka, whiskey and even some scotch. I stayed well away from the group in the living room who are now currently playing truth and dare, not to mention they're drunk enough to actually spill the truth about whatever crazy or personal things they get asked. I'm hoping Hannah doesn't drink too much, her secret about Mike can put her in a careful position yet I think she's keeping her mouth closed on that one. I head towards the kitchen and I see Chris and Josh, doing their own little drinking game in the quiet of the room.

"Please tell me you guys aren't playing truth or dare, because if not then I'll be very happy to spend the rest of my night in here." I say to them with a smile and Josh lights up as I walk in. I was hanging out with Hannah and the rest of the group, but the moment Jessica mentioned truth and dare I made an excuse and went to find Josh.

"Katherine, truth or dare?" Chris jokes, spurting out a muffled laugh and I can tell he's had his fair share of the bottle.

"Very funny." I reply, sliding into the barstool next to Josh and he passes me the bottle. "Are you trying to get me drunk Joshua?" I tease him and he laughs.

"There are many things I'd like to do to you, I'm just seeing how well you can handle your liquor." Josh says too me with half a grin and I can tell that he's drunk too. Am I the only sensible person in here, then again maybe I need to care less about being the good one and have fun.

"Well considering I had my first drink yesterday, I doubt I'd be able to handle it very well." I reply, taking a swig straight from the bottle. My face scrunches up from the distaste of the bottle. "Ugh, that's gross." I laugh, handing the bottle back to them but Chris exchanges it with the vodka which I try and then the whiskey. Both which burn my throat, yet after trying each one of them I think even swigging more time then intended, my head starts feeling light and I'm suddenly all giggly. "I'm so glad that Josh said that we should come here. It's good isn't it? I haven't felt so…it's like I'm not alone anymore. I'm glad you guys are my friends."

"Well this is getting heavy." Chris slurs his words but then starts laughing as he rests his head on the table.

"I know exactly what you mean Kit Kat. Kit Kat, Kit Kat, Kathy, I like Kathy, you'll always be Kathy to me. You know what, why wait? Let's tell everyone about us now." Josh announces, my name sounds so lovely coming from him.

I gasp and stumble up to grab Josh's arm and we both start chuckling but I'm shushing him in case anyone hears us. "No Josh, we have to wait till the morning. You…and the others are not in a good state to process such an amazing secret, the information of us will make them so shocked they'll probably faint, so it'll be better if we tell them when they're not drunk and then they can faint with dignity." I don't know what the hell I'm talking about but it seems to make sense to Josh and kind of sense to me too. Josh sits back down, Chris has already fell asleep and I'm ready to drift off. I didn't know that alcohol could make a person so groggy.

"Okay Kathy, I promise tomor-." Josh's words are then cut off as he falls asleep and I go and lay down on the couch by the wall. My eyes growing heavier and heavier and then I fall asleep.

/

In and out of my sleep I hear laughing from the others, frantic whispers. "Come on, she deserves it, I'm just looking out for my girl Em." I think it's Jessica's voice coming from the other room, but my mind is too heavy to process what they're doing and I fall back to sleep. About twenty minutes later I open my eyes again and my head is starting to hurt. I push myself tiredly up from my seat and head to the sink. Turning on the tap to splash my face with water and grabbing a glass, drinking as much water as I can to settle the headache. My head and vision is still fuzzy and I moan.

Josh and Chris are still asleep and then suddenly I hear a commotion coming from the front door. I think about waking up Josh, but he's completely out of it. I head through the kitchen door and make my way to the front of the lodge where I see the whole group standing. I think I hear Beth shout and everyone's talking at once. "You jerks!" As soon as I reach the front door I see Beth running off into the forest.

"What's going on?" I ask, worry washing over me like a wave, why do I feel so nervous?

"It was just a prank." Emily mutters, her tone pissed off as she folds her arms.

"They pranked Hannah. Jessica overheard you and Hannah last night, that she liked Mike." Sam explains and my stomach drops, this is my fault.

"Like Emily said it was a prank, I wanted to see just how far Hannah would go to take Em's boyfriend from her." Jessica tries to justify herself but she just comes off as an immature bitch.

"What the hell did you guys do?" I shout and then turn to Mike. "Were you in on this?" Mike suddenly looks guilty, noticing how angry and upset I am. How dare he? How dare any of them hurt my best friend. "I can't believe you. You little shits." I shake my head and head in the direction of the forest.

"Kat come back it's not safe out there!" Mike shouts out to me and I ignore him, starting to run as fast as I can to catch up to Beth and find Hannah.

I ignore the sting of the branches as I cut through them, running as fast as I can, leaping over rocks and taking what I hope to be the fastest route there. I see footprints and I follow them, my breathing becoming fast as I push down the nausea that is attempting to rise in my throat. I suddenly hear screaming, I know that I'm off the path, maybe there's a quicker way to get to Hannah and Beth. _Your fault, this is all your fault._ I ignore my thoughts, I have to I can't lose myself right now, I need to stay stable. I push through the last of the trees and jump, my feet plant onto a footway and there's Beth and Hannah standing at the edge of a cliff, looking as scared as I've ever seen anyone before.

"KAT RUN!" Hannah screams at me, holding her arm out for me to run to her.

"Fuck." Beth says and not wanting to look behind me, I suddenly realise what's going to happen. Beth and Hannah fall. Their screams hit right through me and are then blocked out by my own. I run towards the edge of the cliff but before I can reach it and pain erupts from my head as something heavy and sharp hits it. I'm flung off my feet. _An animal…a monster._ I land by a large rock, my head smacking against it and my vision deterring. I'm slowly running out of consciousness. I hear something like a mass of flames and a screech and then that's when I hear the last remaining screams of Beth and Hannah. _My best friend…what's happened to her…like my sister…Hannah._ Darkness embraces me like an unwanted angel of death.

/

Warmth in the form of a crackling fire wakes me and I see Mike sitting by my side, black circles under his eyes from lack of sleep and I realise that I'm in the lodge. "Shit…Kat an ambulance is on its way, you've hurt your head thank God it's not as bad as I thought." Mike says to me and I push myself up suddenly hit by dizziness. "You have to stay here."

"What happened?" Memories start flooding back to me, that is enough to pull myself together and get off the couch. "No…Hannah and Beth where are they? Are they okay? They were screaming and they fell. WHERE ARE THEY?" I shout, panic erupting inside me and I've never seen Mike look so hopeless and sad. "ANSWER ME! Mike please…" Mike shakes his head and I can tell he doesn't know what to say. "Where's Josh?" I whisper and Mike's speechless. A daunting feeling washes over me and I run outside of the lodge. There's people everywhere, police cars are at the gate of the lodge, police look like they're interviewing everyone. Hannah, Beth and Josh's parents are here, the look of terror and worry on their face. That's when I see Josh, sitting by himself on the steps looking at the ground fear written all over his face. I hurry towards him.

"Josh what happened? Please no one's telling me what's going on. Where's Hannah and Beth? They're okay aren't they, I followed them into the forest and then I found them something someone was chasing them…I didn't see and then it knocked me out. Fuck. Josh please talk to me, are they okay?" I ask, knowing that all of these questions can't be helping and they seem to be going straight through Josh.

"Their footprints…the police said they fell from the cliff. The drop, it's so long down. They've went looking, but they said there's no way that they could've…" Josh's voice breaks and my hands start to tremble.

"But they were there. Hannah was…I saw them…they can't have." My voice shakes and Josh collapses into tears.

"The fall was so long. The police searched and they said even if they find them it'd be their bodies. My sisters…they're…" Josh's body shakes uncontrollably and his face falls into his hands as he cries.

I feel frozen, dead, all of those bad feelings that I thought have been locked away come crashing back to me. Hannah and Beth…Hannah, my best friend. They say they're…but they can't be. _It's all your fault. You bitch, your fault. They're dead because of you. You killed them. Why did you get drunk? If anything you could've attempted to save them. You heartless bitch._

"No. No. No…" Whispers of the same word break from me. I feel dead, empty, broken. I stand up, Josh won't want me near him. _My fault._ I walk away, my feet feeling heavy on the snow, my body feeling like nothing. I drop to my knees, my hands grasping the cold bite of the snow. My mind blank, I'm in a frozen state. I see Sam, Chris and Mike in front of me, others are staring. Mike is talking but I can't hear his words. That's when I break. My mouth opens and I let my emotions out, my screams my crying. The attempted comfort of my friends feels numb. If I feel like this then how does Josh feel? They're his sisters…were…he loves them so much. Hannah, my best friend, like my sister, Hannah…they're dead.


	6. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

Personality Status (highest to lowest): Honest, Curious, Romantic, Funny, Brave.

Relationship Status (highest to lowest): Josh, Chris, Sam, Mike, Matt, Ashley, Jessica, Emily.

 _Two months later_

"It's good to see you again Katherine, you didn't attend our last session may I ask why?" My psychologist asks me and I let out a tired sigh, she's too inquisitive with her questions, if she was in fact a good psychologist she wouldn't need to ask.

"Why do you think?" I respond, my arms folded as if hoping to create a barrier between us. I hate coming here, talking to this psychologist won't help me and it won't bring Hannah back. The psychologist, Vivienne her name is, stays silent waiting for a sufficient answer from me, oh how she loves trying to make me talk. "It was their funeral. Don't you read the newspapers, not to mention it's all over the news how the cops gave up finding them. So I didn't really feel like coming, I was at their funeral, a funeral where there was no coffins, Hannah and Beth their bodies weren't there. The cops gave up searching and we were crying over them when their bodies are probably buried under snow. My best friend Hannah and her sister Beth, both lost and cold and dead." My voice breaks and I cover my mouth with my hand, not wanting to shed anymore tears I feel like I've got none left to weep.

The funeral was last week, I sat in the third row from the left and the Washington's were up in the front. I saw Josh, his face so lost and broken, he looked exactly how I felt. I was unsure whether I wanted to go, because then it meant that Hannah and Beth were really gone. I barely talked to Mike for weeks, to anyone really, I just wanted to be left alone and deal with my emotions without anyone telling me it'd be okay. How can anything be okay? Hannah is gone, Beth is gone, nothing will be okay.

"You still hold anger towards them don't you?" Vivienne pries lightly, talking about the ones involved in the prank. Of course I was angry at them, Jessica, Emily, Mike, Ashley and Matt all of them were involved and all of them created the stupid trick to hurt Hannah, being angry at the cops for giving up and angry at myself because I couldn't save them. _My fault._

I was so angry at them, but being bitter and angry at them won't bring them back. "I feel nothing anymore. Being angry at everyone at everything…there's no point to it." I say back, narrowing my eyes in thought, do I believe in my own words?

"I'm sure Hannah wouldn't have wanted you to be angry, to feel the way you're feeling." Vivienne tries to make light of the situation, to make me feel better.

I let out a harsh laugh and look at her square in the eyes. "You don't know Hannah. No one would know what she wanted. She was the kindest and most selfless person that I ever knew and she's gone." I reply, knowing that Vivienne is right, Hannah would want me to be happy, but that's pretty hard to do when your best friend is dead.

"What about Josh, have you seen or spoken to him recently?" Vivienne moves on, changing the topic of questions whenever I respond in a way she doesn't approve of.

"Josh…no I haven't seen him for a while." I murmur, my mind wandering off. _Maybe I should see him, it might be good for me._

/

I'm sitting on the couch in the living room, Mike has gone out he's been going out a lot recently. Mike and Emily broke up after what had happened. The amount of times he told me that he's sorry have been lost on me. I'm still upset after the role he played in the prank, but he's my brother I can't stop talking to him and a part of me wants the relationship to go back to how we were before what had happened, I've been trying we both have been.

I hear a knock at the door and I push myself up from the couch, walking to the front door and swinging it open. Matt is standing there, always on time as usual and he lets out a worried sigh as he looks at me. "Are you sure that you want-?" Matt starts but I cut him off.

"Just get in." I demand and he closes his mouth and walks past me placing the bag on the coffee table.

"Is Mike here?" Matt asks, his eyes scanning the house nervously.

"No, he's gone out as usual." I reply, opening the bag to check the contents. Then I push my hand in my pocket and hand him some money. "Will that cover it?"

"Yeah. Look, I know that you think this will help but it's only going to stop the pain for a small time, you don't have to use it." Matt tries to persuade me. He baffles me sometimes, he has his connections and buys drugs all the time, yet his nice guy personality is always trying to warn me off it.

"As you keep reminding me every time you come here." I then look at Matt for a brief second. "I'll only use it if I have to."

"Which has obviously been every time, or else you wouldn't keep calling me to get you some more." Matt responds, his eyebrows raised in a 'you know I'm right' sort of way. He pushes the money into his trouser pocket and heads for the door as I watch him go. "That's not going to bring them back Kathy."

My eyes pierce towards him. "Don't call me Kathy and don't you dare talk about her." I retort and Matt lets out another sigh before heading out the door and leaving. Now I'm alone. _He filmed the whole prank._ I try to ignore my thoughts as anger starts to flare up inside of me. I sit down on the couch again and empty the bag of its contents. Oxycodone, helps relieve pain. I only use it when I get really bad. _I feel bad now._ Matt said it won't bring them back, he's right it won't, but it can keep the bad feelings away for a while. Any moment without thinking about Hannah or feeling overwhelming emptiness makes me think that everything will be okay. But then when it wears off, reality hits and I'm reminded about everything I've been trying to avoid.

I hear keys rustle at the door, Mike must be back. I quickly throw the contents back in the packet and shove them into my handbag. The front door opens and Mike enters the living room…with Jessica. "What is she doing here?" I ask rather abruptly which results in Jessica placing her hands on her hips and looking over towards Mike with raised eyebrows.

"We're just hanging out Kat. We can head back out if you want?" Mike reasons with me, he knows seeing Jessica would automatically make me think of what happened, then again seeing any of the group would make me remember Hannah.

I let out a sigh, Mike's trying to make things go back to normal, I shouldn't stop that. "No, it's fine. I'm heading out anyway, I thought that I might go and see Josh." I tell him, standing up from the couch and grabbing my bag.

Mike shows a small yet reassuring smile towards me. "Alright, that's good that you're going to see him. If you need anything you know where I am." I take one last look at Jessica, then back to Mike and I nod with a small smile.

"Yeah, okay." I say to him, heading to the front door.

"Hey, come back around five I'm making dinner." Mike says, then notices my gaze return to Jessica. "Just us Kit Kat." He hasn't called me that in a while, my smile grows, I like that he's trying to make things better for me.

"Sounds great." I say, trying to sound enthusiastic, then I leave making my way to see Josh.

/

I've stood at the Washington's front door for about a minute, just staring afraid to knock. "Do it Kathy." I encourage myself and then my fist knocks three times on the door. I wait a few moments and I hear a voice come from behind the door.

"We don't want any more reporters." Mr Washington's grieving voice shouts tiredly and he swings the door open, composing himself as he notices me. "Katherine, we haven't seen you in a while how are you?"

"I'm…" I can't think of a response and Mr Washington nods in understanding. "I came to see Josh, I know it's been a while since…I guess I couldn't face it. I just want to see him." I explain and Mr Washington steps aside letting me walk in their house.

It feels unnerving being back here, a second home, a home that brings back so many memories of the times I spent with Hannah. "I think it's good you came, Josh will be happy to see you he needs to get back to seeing his friends."

"Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do to." I tell Mr Washington honestly as he closes the door behind him.

"Josh is in his bedroom, you can head right up there." He says to me and I nod with a small smile, taking that as my time to leave.

I head upstairs and reach Josh's room, I knock on the door and hear his voice. I open his door and slowly walk in. I see Josh, sitting on his bed, his back against the wall and a rather adorable black Labrador puppy with its head on his lap. "Hey, you got a new dog…" I greet Josh and he looks up, a small smile forming on his lips and his eyes lighting up slightly.

"Kathy." Josh breathes. "You're here." How could I have stayed away from Josh this long? I feel terrible for it, after what happened maybe if I spoke to him sooner things might've been better than they are now. I walk towards him, taking a seat on his bed and I start to stroke the dog. "His name's Bear." I laugh at the name and Bear wags its tail happily as I stroke him. "My parents figured getting me a dog would put me in a better mood."

"Hello Bear, well I can see he definitely helps." I laugh again as Bear licks my hand and then jumps off the bed, running around as he tugs on one of his toys. I then look at Josh, who returns my gaze after watching Bear playing. "I'm sorry…I should've come sooner. Just with everything-," I start to explain and Josh then grabs my hand reassuringly.

"We all needed time to try and handle what happened. You're here now Kathy, that's all I care about." Josh tells me, his voice and the fact that he's right here making me feel somewhat like myself again. I love this calm and worriless feeling I get when I'm around Josh. He makes everything seem okay.

I move myself to sit next to Josh, both of our backs now resting against his bedroom wall, his hand doesn't leave mine. "Staying away, isolating myself from everyone and everything, I thought it'd help and that'd I would've been able to cope, but I didn't and I can't. I promise, I'll never do that again. From now on everything that happens I'll go through with you, I won't push anyone away. Even if you're going through hell and back, which we both were, I promise I won't run this time." I tell Josh, resting my head on his shoulder and wrapping my arm around his, clutching him as if he could disappear at any moment.

Josh kisses my forehead softly and I close my eyes, trying to hold back tears that are threatening to come out. "I know Kathy. Everything, it'll always be there in our minds and in our memories, everything we see or hear will remind us of them in some way. We just have to remember the good ones. Everything that happens, some things just can't be stopped. But now it's me and you Kathy, we'll get through this together." I look up, gazing up at Josh's honest eyes, gosh I've missed him so much. I nod and then I move up to press my lips lightly against his. I've missed this feeling, the feeling of him, I've missed Josh entirely. I shouldn't have stayed away, I could've coped with everything better if I was with him. _I am now._

Josh runs his hands through my hair, I missed his touch. He then starts to plant kisses all over my face and I laugh, a real laugh something I haven't done in a while. Josh's lips kiss my cheeks, my forehead and my neck and he starts to chuckle too. As soon as he stops, both of us smiling, I wrap my arms around his body and snuggle up to him. Just Josh and I against the world. This is how it should be, not by myself I never want to be that alone again. Everything's always better when Josh is here. "I've missed you Kathy."

"I've missed you too Josh, more than anything." I whisper back, me in Josh's arms and Josh wrapped around by mine. We stay like this for a while, sometimes talking, sometimes not, talking about memories of Hannah and Beth, for once I feel happy talking about them and remembering them. Maybe it will get better, the pain will still be there, but with Josh I might actually be able to face it. I can do more than just survive, I can live.


	7. Chapter Seven

(Sorry its been a while Uni has kept me busy, now on my holidays and will try to update more frequently, hope you enjoy this chapter!)

 **Chapter Six**

Personality Status (highest to lowest): Honest, Romantic, Curious, Funny, Brave.

Relationship Status (highest to lowest): Josh, Chris, Mike, Sam, Matt, Ashley, Jessica, Emily.

My breathing is ragged as I thrust around in bed, my temperature rising as I am enraptured by a nightmare, something that has been reoccurring in the past few months. _The sounds of sticks and dried out leaves crunch under my feet as I run through the endless forest. My fear is striking and the paranoid thoughts that someone or something is following me curse my mind. The sticks and sharp rocks on the ground cause small yet stinging cuts as my feet bleed. I then hear a ravenous growl come from the darkness behind me, I can't see what's following me but all I know is that it can smell my blood and fear as I run from whatever messed up creature is hunting me. "Kathy run!" I hear a shriek, it can only be Hannah's voice. My heart speeds up._

" _Hannah!" I scream back. I need to get to her, Beth will be with her and I'm unaware of how many of these monsters are wandering around the forest._

 _I reach a clearing in the forest, thinking that the openness is safer then running between the constriction of bushes and trees. "Hannah?" I call, my voice out of breath. I then see her and Beth, running through the trees and something fast bounds after them. "No!" I run after them, determined to reach them before the monster does._

 _As I run through the trees, the vines from the bushes lash towards me, wrapping themselves around my wrists and cutting through me with the thorns. I let out a gasp yet I still manage to pull my arms away from the constriction of the vines. Suddenly less trees emerge and I jump onto a pathway, I look up and realise that I'm near a cliff edge with a rust old sign by the end. Within the same moment I realised that, I then notice Beth's dead body thrown over the edge, her throat slit and her limbs ripped apart, thrown over by a monster so horrendous I'm frozen in fear by the mere sight of it._

 _The stench of blood reaches my nose and I can't speak, Beth's dead…that monster killed her. Then I feel hot air tickle the back of my neck, a rotting stench fills my nostrils and I suddenly feel ice cold. I feel pain hit me as I'm thrown to the side and as soon as I get up, my vision reorientation itself I see Hannah at the edge of the cliff, with that monster behind her. "HANNAH!" I scream, trying to run towards her, to save her but my feet are planted to the ground I'm paralysed. The monster has one hand around Hannah's neck and then it suddenly lifts it's other, showing the gleam of it's sharp claws, then in one swift movement it slices it's claw across her throat, grabbing Hannah by the hair and then giving a large tug, decapitating her head and pulling it clean off. "NO, Hannah!" Her body is then flung off the cliff like a lifeless doll and then the monster turns to me, it's deadly eyes ready for its next kill-_

I'm shook awake and as soon as my eyes open I can hear someone screaming. Then I notice that it's me, the nightmare made me terrified. Usually it's Mike that wakes me from a nightmare but when I look beside me, my screams turning into feral gasps I see Josh's silver-blue eyes look down at me a certain worriedness written all over his face. Of course, I remember now I stayed at Josh's last night, not mine. "Kathy, Kathy it's me you're okay, you're awake now. I'm here." Josh assures me. I let out a breath of relief and collapse into Josh's arms, wrapping my arms around me too scared to care about how sweaty the nightmare made me or that I'm trembling like hell from it.

"It was so real Josh, so real." I whisper, my heart still pounding like a drumbeat. "There was a monster…and Hannah…Beth, it can't have been real. They fell from the cliff, that's not how it happened." I say these words more to reassure myself and I feel a hesitation from Josh.

"Monsters don't exist Kathy, only the ones in our head." He tells me, kissing the top of my forehead and brushing my slightly damp hair back. "I dream about them too, sometimes it's just memories and then sometimes nightmares; Kathy my mind is always running wild about all of the different solutions about how they died. We just have to ignore them, ignore the doubt and the monsters. They fell…somehow they fell and then they-."

I notice that Josh is doubtful of his own words and his own reassurance. I hug him tighter, pressing my head against his chest. "Yeah, it's just I hate this and I miss them so much."

"So do I Kathy, it shouldn't have happened and I promise you," Josh tilts my chin up so that I'm looking into his eyes. "I will never let it happen again, not to anyone and especially not to you."

After falling back to sleep in Josh's arms for the next two hours, I wake up and I am greeted by a lick on my nose. "Josh, what are…" I then open my eyes to see Bear, lying beside me wagging his tail happily and then jumping up to encourage me to get out of bed. I laugh and give Bear a pat on his back as I slide out of bed. Josh isn't here, he must be downstairs as I can smell what has to be pancakes coming from the kitchen. Before I head downstairs to greet Josh I take a quick showers and then slip on one of his shirts.

After heading downstairs I reach the kitchen and hear another voice. Josh's parents are out at work so it can't be them, instead as I enter I notice that it's Chris. "Oh, hey Chris." I greet him, slightly scolding myself that I didn't slip on something less revealing.

Chris stands there for a moment, absorbing the situation as he looks between me and Josh. "Well this is new." Chris announces, looking like he's unsure whether to grin or continue to look confused.

"Not really." Josh responds as he dishes out some heavenly looking pancakes that he's made. I thank him and grin as I sit down, pouring on some maple syrup and digging in.

"I know that, I mean just after everything that happened wasn't sure that you two were actually together. It's good though, maybe could've told me about it earlier." Chris hints, then throws us a wink to show that he's not fazed by it. Chris then grabs a plate and motions Josh to throw a pancake on it which he does. "I'm wounded Josh that I never got this special treatment on the mornings I come on over, and damn you can cook." Chris has a mouthful of food and Josh chuckles.

"Well this was going to be breakfast in bed, but I don't think the three of us would fit." Josh replies and looks at me with a smile.

"Kat could sit on your lap and I'd be on the other side getting crumbs on the covers and watching some terrible movie remakes." Chris jokes along.

"That, cochise, is third wheeling at its finest." Josh replies, picking at his pancakes.

As soon as we've finished our breakfasts, Chris clears the plates and I wrap my arms around Josh as soon as he's out of sight. "Breakfast was lovely, thank you." I say to Josh and he smiles slightly.

"Next time I'll make sure it's breakfast in bed." He responds with a wink and I laugh.

"Like you said, I'm not sure the three of us would fit." I say, poking him lightly in the side with my finger and he grabs my hand twirling me around and then pulling me towards him.

"I guess it'll just have to be me and you then." Josh then leans down and his soft lips meet mine, I revel in the moment standing on my toes to press closer against him. Josh then breaks away and looks longingly into my eyes, tucking a stray strand of my hair behind my ear. "Mmmm."

"Uhmm." I respond with a smile and then we both hear Chris call for Josh saying that the dishwasher is busted.

"How did he…I'll be right back." Josh lets out a sigh as he shakes his head at how Chris always intervenes at the wrong times.

I giggle and wait for him in the hallway. Something then spots my eye, a bottle of Josh's pills. I walk over to them and notice that they're unopened. I check the prescription date on the bottle and it says that he got these two weeks ago. My eyes narrow in concern, Josh isn't taking his meds. I decided to take mine again, I had to since what had happened or else I wouldn't have been able to cope, but Josh has stopped taking his and his depression was worse then mine…in many ways. Josh walks back into the room and notices me holding the bottle.

"Kathy…what are you doing with those?" He asks, knowing that he's been find out and I walk towards him.

"You haven't been taking your meds for two weeks Josh." I try to make my voice calm, but my worry for him trumps the attempt.

"Kathy, I'm fine I don't need them." Josh responds, his voice soft and calmer then mine as if trying to brush away the situation.

"Don't need them? How can you not, the doctors said that you need them." I retort, my voice rising.

"I don't need them because I have you. You're all I need Kathy, you make me happy, with you I can cope." Josh tries to persuade me and he reaches to hold my hands but I let out a sigh and pull away.

" Josh, I tried all of that I tried skipping my meds and after what happened it just made my life hell." I explain to him, trying to make him see sense.

"But when we went to the lodge, before it happened you stopped taking them and you were fine because you were happy."

"Yes because of you." I say and then Josh raises his eyebrows with a smug look. "Damn you Josh Washington." I say lightly with a small smile and a shake of my head. I place the bottle down and take his hands into mine. "Please Josh, you not taking them makes me think that you'll get bad again and I'll worry."

"They're only needed to dull the pain. I'm fine Kathy and I would always tell you if I wasn't." Josh reassures me and I bite my lip slightly in thought, looking at the wall. "There's no pain right now, I'm better then I was back then, I'm with you. Of course, I'm still sad and angry about what had happened, but it's not as bad I promise."

"At least take them, even if it's just a few a week, not going totally cold turkey will put my mind at ease just a bit." I negotiate with him and Josh nods showing a forced smile.

"Yeah, okay. A few a week, but only if I get bad."

"Deal." I reply back to him and Josh then wraps me into a hug and I can't help but still feel an eerie sensation that him backing off from his meds will do no good at all.


End file.
